What Could've Been
by sapphirerose421
Summary: He felt something for him...but then he left to achieve his dreams. Now two years later Shinichi is still stuck waiting for his return wishing for what could've been love but now is regret. CHAPTER 2 NOW POSTED (read if you want a happier ending) Shinkai/Kaishin \
1. What could've been

**_Hi Everyone!_**

 ** _This is inspired by a song called "What Hurts the Most" idk artist sorry_**

 ** _Disclaimer: It totally is mine XD *hears sirens* ekkkkkk I'm joking JOKING aughhhh_**

 ** _Ok enough of that here's the story! I hope you enjoy! Ignore any mistakes i'm writing this at midnight give me a break here! (jk u want tell me any mistakes and i'll fix them) Reviews or critiques are much appreciated 3_**

* * *

 _two years_

He has been waiting for two years. Huh it's already been two years since then hasn't it... time sure goes fast.

Kudo Shinichi sat in the shadows leaning on to the trunk of a big oak tree while watching kids play in the park. He smiled softly as he thought back to a conversation years ago.

* * *

 _"ne ne tantei-kunnnnnnnn"_

 _"what KID I'm trying to read" Conan growled at the annoying thief._

 _"you do know you're in a park right like on the swings and all."_

 _"yes KID I know"_

 _"then why aren't you playing that's what people do normally at a park"_

 _"I wanted to read but Ran told me I had to go outside so here I am"_

 _*Poof*_

 _"KAITO gimme my book back!"_

 _"NO! not until you play. I'm boreddddddddd."_

Shinichi chuckled to himself thinking about the white clad thief that revealed his identity to his rival because he wanted an opportunity to hang out and cheer up the detective when he was depressed about his "small problem."

When he got his body back and told Ran the truth she was furious with him and for good reason too but it pretty much ruined their chances of ever getting together as Ran refused to even talk to him and let him explain himself and his reasons.

Kaito cheered him up.

After he got his body back he thought Kaito would forget about him and go on with his life as Shinichi already swore not to tell anyone his identity but to his surprise Kaito stuck around and was always there for him even when it got a little annoying like when he hid Shinichi's books or case files declaring that he needed a break before whisking him off to some random location for a short vacation.

It wasn't long before Shinichi realized he loved the magician/prankster/thief all rolled up into one. Contrary to popular belief he wasn't _that_ dense, thank you very much. Its just that even though he knew he loved Kaito but Kaito probably didn't feel the same so he kept it to himself thinking that it would be fine if their relationship continued like this.

With Shinichi's help and FBI connections Kaito found Pandora and Snake was arrested with those he worked for. The moonlight magician bowed off the stage to the disappointment of KID fans everywhere and the fury of Nakamori-keibu (and probably sadness as well though he would never admit it... the moping was really telling)

Shinichi grinned at the memory of Nakamori-keibu pouting like a sad child for weeks after KID's retirement until his daughter, Aoko marched into the station and threatened him to cheer up with a mop (Shinichi still isn't quite sure how that would make him cheer up but didn't want to point that out and earn some rage in the form of a mop chase).

Shinichi got up from his spot in the tree shade and started heading back home. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice that it was already evening.

* * *

Three years. That's how long the friendship lasted: one being Conan and two being himself. Then _that_ happened.

He still remembers the day he found out like it was yesterday but in fact it is exactly two years ago today.

 _"KAITO" yelled red-faced panting Shinichi as he runs into Kaito's room._

 _"Yo! Shin-chan what's up? Did you run all the way here?"_

 _"I just talked with Aoko-san...Is it true...are you really leaving?"_

 _Kaito shifted uncomfortably "yea... it's true." He looked down at his feet to avoid looking at Shinichi, "I'm leaving in a few hours. I couldn't to tell you goodbye so...yea" he finished lamely._

 _"Well will you at least tell me why? We are best friends right?" shinichi pleaded._

 _"Since I've destroyed Pandora and retired I figured that now's a good time to start my career and become a world famous magician like oyaji. I can't do that without traveling around the world ya know," Kaito chuckled softly in hopes that it will lighten the mood._

 _"oh..."_

 _"I hope that you achieve your dreams then. You deserve it with all that crap you went through as KID with Snake and all. I'm so happy that you finally are going to do what you want. I'm sure you will be better than your dad. Good luck Kaito. I have to go to work so... goodbye."_

 _Upon hearing the reason Kaito was leaving Shinichi shoved all his emotions down and hid it behind his well crafted poker face (he has an actress mother, spent two years pretending to be a kid , and was best friends with the Kaitou KID, he has a pretty darn good poker face) Shinichi knew that he shouldn't stop Kaito from leaving after all Kaito did deserve this and Shinichi didn't want to hold him back. So he hid his true feelings, pretended that the love of his life wasn't leaving, and made a pathetic excuse to leave. God what was wrong with him!_

 _Kaito left._

* * *

Shinichi sighed as he reached the door to his house, he was being stupid. He could call Kaito or send a letter to the magician, who was pretty famous by now, but he just couldn't find the courage. _Pathetic, I can face down murderers and evil organizations but I can't do this._

Shinichi grabbed a cup of coffee as he sat down on his bed and watched the sunset, the last rays of light disappearing to give way to the inky night sky and the shining stars. _There was no moon tonight_.

He knew that he should go to bed, he had to go to work tomorrow and he didn't want any of his coworkers to know that something was wrong and that something had been wrong for two years but he couldn't bring himself to sleep.

 _I don't mind pretending that everything is fine. I have been for two years._

 _What hurts the most..._

 _was being so close and watching him walk away without knowing what he would've thought about how I feel._

 _Would he still go away, disgusted even? or would he smile and say that he loved me back?_

 _I guess I'll never know what could've been._

 _If I could go back to that day I would say the words I left unspoken but that's just regret._

* * *

 ** _Well did you like? hate? wanna kill me cause of it (plz don't by the way I value my life)? Review plzzz thank you darlings XOXO_**

 ** _If this is too sad then i'll make another chapter where Kaito comes back :) just ask_**

 ** _Well I hope you have an amazing dayyyyyyyyy! See ya!_**


	2. What it is

**_Hi Everyone!_**

 ** _Well I'm back with part two of this where it ends happier instead of part one since apparently people wanted kaito to come back. I will admit that i wanted that too but had no idea how to do it well i went through some ideas but i didn't like them but then the wonderful LillianRosas24 came up with this idea so i used it. Thank you_** ** _LillianRosas24 :D if it wasn't for you I might have made Kaito come back with a girlfriend and torture shin-chan a little more before getting them together. :(_**

 ** _Disclaimer: Same as first chapter. Not Mine sadly._**

 ** _Without further adieu, Chapter 2 everyone_**

* * *

 _"SHIN-CHANNNNNNNNNN~ WAKE UPPPPPPPPP"_

 _"huh? What? Who was killed?!"_

 _"... you are the only person in this world who would respond like that when being woken up... Anyways get up come on lets so!"_

 _"Kaito?! How did you get in here?... nevermind. Go where?"_

 _"Duh, you promised to take me to the new arcade that opened up near the train station because it's no fun to go alone."  
Kaito then proceeds to drag Shinichi out of the kudo family library where Shinichi fell asleep in the middle of reading case files due to being up all of the last two nights working on a serial murder case. _

_"Hurry upppppppp!"_

 _The two twinlike friends made it to the arcade without any incidents or murders as Kaito then proceeded to drag a very tired Shinichi around the arcade playing various games. Well, Kaito played and Shinichi just watched until Kaito declared it was unfair which lead them to playing shooting games._

 _PERFECT SCORE_

 _"neh neh Shinichi?"_

 _"yes Kaito?"_

 _"Why is it that you suck at games in general but excel in shooting games?"_

 _"My dad taught me how to shoot in Hawaii. Didn't you know? I mean I shot you like twice."_

 _"Ehhhhh?! You shot me?!"_

 _"Well, not you but in your direction. Do you remember the clock tower heist? Yea that's when."_

 _"So you were the one who made that heist hard I knew Nakamori-keibu wasn't that smart..._

 _Hey! You shot at me!"_

 _"...Weren't we talking about that? Well to be fair I didn't know it was you. Megure-keibu promised me a helicopter ride and I saw the crowd and heard about some thief and decided to try catching them. I did give up once I saw your code and realized that you were trying to protect the clock. I figured it was a noble cause and didn't tell the Megure-keibu the answer."_

 _"Wait what! I- Kaitou KID was famous then how did you **not** know it was me! Besides I am not **some thief**_ _!"_

 _"Geez someone has an ego the size of the sun!" Shinichi teased_

 _"Sorry I just wasn't interested in thieves then"_

* * *

"Kudo-kun? Kudo-kun? KUDO-KUN!"

"huh? What? Who was killed?!"

Shinichi shot up from where he was lying on his desk at the police headquarters when his dream was disturbed by a concerned Sato-keiji.

"Kudo-kun, are you ok? You've been kinda out of it today and it isn't like you to fall asleep at work. Also no one was killed. Is that always how you wake up?" Sato stated concerned for the young detective.

"Yea, sorry I just didn't get enough sleep it's nothing. And yes apparently that's how I respond every time someone wakes me up according to Kai- I mean someone."

Just as Sato was about to respond and most likely reprimand him for not taking care of himself Megure-keibu stood up and shouted, "Someone has been killed! **(A/N: Yup Shinichi jinxed it. Now you know why he wakes up like that.)** Sato, Takagi, Shinichi-kun go!"

Without another word said detectives quickly got up and headed for the crime scene.

 _Kaito. It's been 2 years 7 months 1 week and 4 days since you left. **(A/N: whoa there Shinichi you're starting to sound like Hakuba)** It's getting harder to get __up, get dressed every morning and act like nothing is wrong when everything is wrong without you. But, I'm still waiting and I will wait as long as it takes. Come back so I can tell you the words left unspoken in my heart, ok?_

* * *

"Hakuba? You're the one that called us?"

"Ah. Kudo. Yes, I am indeed the one who informed the police of the murder. Aoko-san and I were eating at this restaurant when the lights blacked out for 2 minutes 48 seconds and 22 milliseconds, then we heard as scream. Afterwards this man, Kimura Daichi, age 48, was found dead on the floor with a stab wound to the heart."

Shinichi took in account Hakuba's observations before doing his own investigation and eventually he limited it down to 4 suspects all with ties and motive to kill the 48 year old business owner. One he was sure committed the murder Kimura Aoi, the victim's own brother, if he was the killer then it would explain that weird comment he made when being questioned. The problem, the evidence. Shinichi was fairly certain that he know how the killer did it and man was it elaborate. He could see the frustration on everyone's faces because they couldn't figure out how the killer did it without getting blood on themselves or their possessions. Hakuba was there so he sealed everything off quickly enough that none of the suspects could discard bloody evidence but it was nowhere to be found.

As Shinichi realized the killer's trick and was about finished giving his deduction he was stopped in his tracks and left stunned by Hakuba's next few words: "Hey Kudo, This may not be the proper time but, I am curious are you going to Kuroba's magic show tomorrow? It's at the Ekoda theater."

"What! Kaito's back but when?!"

"Eh? He didn't tell you? Kuroba has been back for 2 months already. In fact, Aoko-san and I were going to his place after we ate."

The new information hit Shinichi **hard**. _Kaito's back. Kaito's back. He's actually back! I have to tell him how I feel! Wait, if he was back for two months already why didn't he tell me? Is he avoiding me? Does he not want anything to do with me?_ Shinichi was so occupied in his thoughts of a mix of self-torture and giddiness that he didn't even realize that the murderer was ranting about his almost perfect crime and how if it wasn't for some busybody detective he would of gotten away with it. Now normally that wasn't a problem, I mean who **wants** to listen to some man rant about committing a perfect crime if it wasn't for someone or something, but this time was different. This cold hearted killer wanted revenge on Shinichi. Quicker than any officer can react the man grabbed a knife from the kitchen of the restaurant and ran towards Shinichi with the intent to kill.

"Kudo-kun!"

"Shinichi-kun!"

"Kudo!"

Shinichi had just the amount of time to turn, see the attack, and attempt to move to the side but it was too late as the blade was driven home into his chest.

The last thing he remembered was the culprit being arrested and multiple people running towards him calling his name before everything went black.

* * *

"Oi, Hakuba! Are you planning on coming over anytime today its already been 5 hours past the meeting time I'm still waiting! Oi! Are you there!"

"Kuroba, sorry but I don't think we can make it today there was a case at the restaurant and ...

...and Kudo got stabbed... I'm at the hospital right now but he's in critical condition. He managed to turn a little as to avoid getting stabbed directly in the heart but it damaged his lungs... he might not make it."

"What! Shinichi! Shinichi was stabbed?! This isn't funny, Hakuba! Please tell me this is a sick joke! He is gonna be alright, right?! Please say he is gonna be alright!"

"I don't know.

I'm sorry. It was a distraction, a simple distraction for a few minutes. How could this happen. Anyways we're at the Beika General Hospital come quickly."

* * *

The first thing he realizes is that he was in a hospital the smell of antiseptics was very easy to distinguish not to mention that he has been to the hospital so many times that they started designating a room for him, room 221 ( **A/N: Free points to anyone who understands why the room number :D )**. The first thing he **feels** is water falling on his face, tears? When he forced his eyes open he was met with the blurry sight of one Kuroba Kaito standing over him crying.

"Kai- to" he says weakly as he reaches up slowly to gently wipe away the tears cascading down his cheeks.

"Shin *hic* ichi? Shinichi! You're awake!" he exclaimed as he dove down to hug the living daylights out of him. "Thank god Shinichi you're okay. *hic* I was so worried when I found out you were stabbed and *hic" when Hakuba told me *hic* that you were distracted because of finding out I was back *hic*..." The tears came back again, even more this time. "Oh god I'm so sorry Shinichi this *hic* this is all my fault isn't it *hic* if I told you I was back then *hic* *hic* you wouldn't have gotten hurt... " The words were forgotten as Kaito continued to cry hugging Shinichi to him tightly as if he was afraid that if he let go Shinichi would disappear.

"Shush shh Kaito It wasn't your fault. It's fine, I'm fine. I'm so glad you're here... for real this time" Shinichi said softly.

"neh Kaito can you listen to me quickly?"

A small nod was all the answer he got.

"I promised myself that I would tell you this the next time I see you and if I don't I think I will regret it forever so please listen.

I, Kudo Shinichi, love you, Kuroba Kaito, and I have loved you for the past 3 years 1 month and 3 weeks give or take a few days depending on how long I was unconscious. I know that you probably won't return my feelings and might not want to be friends anymore but I had to get it off my chest or I would die of regret. I've regretted it ever since I failed to tell you that day you left."

"Shinichi. Shinichi you're not joking right? I could never hate you! I came back because I realized that I loved you too. I may not have the exact time that I realized that I love you but I know I do. That's why I came back. I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out with me?"

Shinichi smiled a breathtakingly sweet smile before answering "yes."

Words and tears were forgotten as Kaito slowly leaned in for a kiss and Shinichi meet him halfway. The two boys savored each others flavors as they kissed. Hesitantly at first but, as the time went on the kiss got more passionate as Shinichi threw his arms around Kaito's neck in an effort to get closer to the magician and Kaito gently cradled Shinichi's head in his arms preventing him from pulling back, but there was no need. The kiss got more and more passionate and heated as Kaito licked his partner's lips in a silent plea for entrance. Shinichi complied as a tongue slipped into his mouth drawing out moans and whimpers from both sides as they let themselves be lost in the sensation. Eventually they realized that they needed to breath as the two parted both panting but still close enough that their foreheads were touching. Both so close together that only a little gap gave a clue to anyone who could see them that they were two different people. They stared into each others eyes and observed how the other looked bathed in the moonlight shining through the hospital window as they regained their breaths. _There was a full moon tonight._

"You know I was so worried that I was going to lose you."

"Well you didn't have to worry.

I promised myself that I would wait for you no matter how long. I can't do that if I die can I" Shinichi grinned.

 _What hurt the most was that I was so close and didn't tell him how I felt._

 _I had to live with that regret_

 _Now I don't because I told him_

 _I waited for him_

 _He came back._

* * *

 ** _That's all everyone!_**

 ** _I hope you enjoyed it somewhat! I'm sorry if it's bad this is my first time writing a kissing scene and yea. Also sorry for glossing over the murder I am not a criminal genius like Gosho and have no clue as to how the murderer did it but apparently Shinichi knows so yea..._**

 ** _I'm so happy because of all the positive feedback I got so thank you everyone! I just realized that I'm posting this at midnight again... I should stop that. anyways (ignore my rambling) Plz review and tell me what you think! Have a nice day and see you later!_**

 ** _Ja na!_**


End file.
